Day 1 - Love is Patient

Today's Dare:

The first part of this dare is fairly simple.  Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart.  For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all.  If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything at all.  It's better to hold your tongue then to say something you'll regret.

Did anything happen today to cause anger toward your mate?  Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts and to let them come out in words?  Was your spouse surprised by the things you didnt say?

Today I started out simple.  I sent my husband a text message. Not too overbearing or gushy or anything like that.  Just a simple "Have a good day"  Honestly, I expected a "you too" or "thanks" and got nothing.  This sparked some hurt in me all day.  I sent him multiple texts and he never responded.  He usually will text me something on his lunch break and I got nothing.  The last texted Id gotten from him was "You are annoying"  So I had to stare at that text sitting in my inbox all day waiting for him to send me something else.  But all day I got nothing.  Until around 2:51pm, his phone had been dead.  I had held my tongue all day long.  I was so hurt and disapointed that he couldnt say anything back to me today.  I wanted to spew out how Im trying to make this work and he is giving up and how much I cry and he doesnt even care.  I practiced patience today.  In the back of my mind I figured something wasnt right and just waited instead of jumping his case for not responding.  I wanted to text his friend and ask him what was up.  But I didnt. I held my tongue and didnt say anything at all.  Im glad that I practiced patience today.  The day is not over yet and I intend to update before bed but things here at home are calm between him and I.  We haven't kissed or hugged or said I love you to each others faces but he did ask me how my day was...oh and selfish me..I didnt ask him.  I think I will now.  And I did.  It feels good to practice patience and have lines of communication.  Hopefully this challenge will save us.  I will update later in the night or tomorrow morning. 

Update:  Dinner just got over with. I made chicken, green beans and carrots.  I made the girls plates and set them at the kitchen table.  I made my plate and sat down with them.  Dave came into the kitchen, grabbed his plate of food and left.  He sat in the livingroom, on the computer, playing World of Warcraft.  I again practiced patience.  I did not tell him how rude he was or how selfish and selfcentered I thought he was being.  I guess, for me thinking those thoughts, I am no better then he is.  I guess I need to work on my negative attitude.  I just dont like how we are obvioulsy sitting at the table as a family and he didnt include himself.  He is just in his own little world 99% of the time and it makes me sad.  He is oblivious that our marriage really is in shambles and I am picking up my slack and his.  Perhaps I havent been the greatest wife. But I think Im trying now.  Hell, I didnt even know how to start a blog and I googled it and well, her I am.  Blogging away. 

Update#2:  Another proof that I kept my patience was last night.  I woke up around 12am due to a party going on inside of my stomach.  I could not get Scarlett to go to sleep for anything.  I found myself downstairs, in the company of my husband ((who was STILL on the computer game)) rocking my unborn child to sleep.  I was up until 230am.  I figured since he knew I was up he would just come to bed with me since an excuse Ive heard was "i dont want to wake you up"  but again I got nothing.  I held my tounge on him playing that game until after 230am, when I finally fell asleep.  Keeping my patience is very hard to do when I want to say something so bad to him.  This challenge is going to be more difficult then what I intended it to be.

Thanks for reading -

I will always end with one of my favorite quotes or sayings from today's passage in The Love Dare.

Anger is usually caused when the strong desire for something is mixed with disappointment or grief.  You don't get what you want and you start heating up inside.  It is often an emotional reaction that flows out of own selfishness, foolishness or evil motives.

I picked this passage because it hits so close to home that it hurts.  I would generally blow up at my husband because he would not pay attention to me. Sleep in the same bed as me, take a shower with me or even talk to me.  So my anger turned to grief and that turned into yelling and such.  This passage I take to heart.